last night’s dream: let’s go to prison

I dreamt I stole a car because I was on a road trip and my own car broke down hours away from home. I got caught and had to go to prison.

For some reason I was sentenced to serve my sentence in a prison in Florida so the prison bus trip was a really long one. At the beginning of the trip I went to the front of the bus to register and they gave me my uniform and paperwork and name tag. They told me to just put the name tag in my pocket since no one in prison actually wears their name tag. I made a joke about how having a name tag would undermine the whole “prison nickname” thing. They didn’t laugh but I guess it’s cause guards shouldn’t fraternize with prisoners.

I asked if the prison had a music room or any musical instruments and they said no. I said, “Man, prison sucks!” All the other prisoners on the bus started laughing so I went with it. I started riffing about it. “Whose ass do I have to murder to get a guitar up in this bitch?!?” I was killing it. Then the bus broke down. I was all, “We couldĀ steal a car but the last time I did that I ended up on a shitty prison bus that doesn’t even run!” More laughter from the other prisoners. I thought to myself, “maybe prison won’t be so bad.” Then I remembered the toilets don’t have lids to sit on.

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